Friday, April 1, 2011

Bandit, a second job and being a full-time student

Hello everyone. I know it's been awahile since I've wrote but a lot of things have been on my mind. I'm still working in Bandit. I'm in the process of rewriting it as we speak. Despite my efforts, I've only managed to write six chapters out of the whole book and there's still nine more chapters to go before I could declare it a finished novel (For a total of fifteen chapters). But I don't even know if writing this book is a possiblity now because of my current schedule.

At first, I was just writing my book and going to school. I was starting to like that idea because I felt as if I was able to have some free time to write my book and do my homework while the financial aid I applied for would help pay the bills. Unfortunately, that's no longer the case. Since my financial situation hasn't changed since 2009, I have no other choice but to get me a part-time job while I'm in school. I don't know how this is supposed to work considering the classes are twice a week. And I have no other choice but to go full-time because I'm going to need financial aid to pay for my expenses (tution, books, fees, etc).

I just don't know if it's worth it anymore.

I simply went back to school so I could get my A.A. in early childhodd education and then find a job. Now, I can't even do that anymore. I feel like nothing I have done within the last few years of my life were useless. I tried to get a substitute teaching certificate so I could be a substitute teacher in chicago. That didn't work. I tried applying for jobs on careerbuilder, that didn't work. Itried to publish my book to multiple literary agents, that didn't work. I tried to focus on going back to school full-time so I wouldn't have to get a job while I was in school, that didn't work.

The only thing that seems to work right now is to quit school and focus on getting a job...for the second time!

I just can't deal with the pressure she's putting on me. It's too much for me. All I want to do is write, send my manuscript, find a literary agent to fall in love with my work, rewrite it again to it's full potential, find a publisher that loves my work, rewrite it again and let it get published two years from now.

And maybe work on trying to get a master's degree in my field: Creative writing. That way, I could teach at Columbia college and not have to worry about searching for another job ever again in life. I think I would have been better off if I would have applied at Columbia for the fall then what I'm going through now. I am miserable and there's nothing I can do about it at this point. All I can do is do my homework and write as much as possible before my huge transition from writer/schoolgirl to schoolgirl/working girl with the writing as a backburner.